The Dog that Led Me Down the Path to Becoming a Dog Trainer

I couldn't stand my dog. I wanted nothing to do with her. I spent dedicated hours training her with few results. Finally, I learned about another way that changed the way I look at dog training.

My Dog Training Journey

It all began with a dog named Laila.

Laila wasn’t my first dog, but she was the first dog that I trained. Or rather, tried to train.

I never even wanted her in the first place, but my ex-husband badgered me into agreeing to adopt her.

He’d train her, he promised. He’d do all the work, he assured me. I’d not have to do a thing.

Nevermind that I didn’t want a puppy, or more importantly, that our other dog, Sora, was dying from cancer.

After a recent fourth surgery to remove a recurring nerve sheath tumor in her right leg as well as rounds of electrochemotherapy and three weeks of radiation therapy, I had promised Sora that we were done.

With the propensity at which the tumor recurred, I knew that our time together was very limited.

The last thing I wanted was a puppy to take me away from the thing I loved most in the world.

I didn’t want a puppy.

I said no puppy.

I really didn’t want a puppy.

After twisting my arm, I agreed to a three-hour drive to meet this puppy. I was told there was no obligation to bring her home, but let’s be real–you don’t drive six hours round trip just to meet a dog.

We got a puppy.

We had no puppy-appropriate toys, no bed for her, no kennel, nothing. I hadn’t spent time reading books or watching YouTube videos on training a puppy. I didn’t feel prepared on how to bring a puppy into our home.

Sora was still recovering from surgery and in a cone.

She was cute. Her brindled coat and oversized rabbit triangular ears gave her the appearance of a wild animal. A hyena to be precise.

I couldn’t stand her.

She demanded constant attention. She threw tantrums when we were out at restaurants. Or walking. Or when she saw another dog. Or another person. Or birds. We couldn’t have conversations with friends. One of us had to dedicate the entirety of our efforts on controlling Laila.

Walking down the street meant paying attention to every dog, child, rolling suitcase, person, skateboard, bicycle, bird, piece of food, tree fruit dropping, and countless other distractions. It was mentally exhausting.

Once and only once, I let her off leash. She tore off into the woods, eventually returning after 10 minutes, tongue dripping to the ground, collecting dirt from the road as she careened toward me.

I didn’t even want to look at her.

My ex gave her more “freedom” than I did. And with that freedom, she would sprint toward a herd of horses or cows or hop out of the car and follow her nose, without worry about oncoming traffic.

Sometimes, I wished that the horse or cow would give her a swift kick to the gut. I wanted her to learn that they are not animals to fuck with.

Since I discouraged allowing her off leash without proper recall, I usually didn’t offer to help. I wasn’t the one who unclipped the leash, after all.

Early on, Laila proved to be too much for my ex to handle and all the training he had assured me he’d do fell to the wayside.

I resented her.

I resented him.

I didn’t want to walk her. I didn’t want to train her. I didn’t want to be around her.

Yet, there was no one else putting in the work, so I took it on.

There is Another Way

I put everything into training her, but it didn’t’ work.  I tried working virtually with a trainer friend and we hired a local trainer in Spain where we lived. I was still frustrated with my dog and we weren’t reaching the goals I had set for us.

After posting about my frustration on Instagram, several friends introduced me to the concept of balanced training.

I did a deep dive into this new-to-me method of training. I had never heard of it and thought positive reinforcement was the only option.

But alas, it was not!

Until then, I had believed, like many that the aversive tools used in balanced training, such as prong collars and e-collars were abusive and never to be used on a dog.

However, I also knew that the friends who had recommended this method loved their dogs more than anything, so I went in with an open mind.

I talked to friends and trainers to learn more. I dug deep into the depths of the Internet to find out as much information as I could (not a whole lot exists, so that’s what brings me here).

I found a trainer where I lived and started taking her to group classes. After just one lesson, I felt like I could finally communicate with this dog and my frustration toward all but evaporated almost instantaneously.

Never fully getting on board with balanced training and moreso due to the end of our relationship, I never had the chance to see the full potential with Laila. However, when I adopted my own dog a few months later, I started working with him using balanced methods as soon as I brought him home.

He’s chill indoors.

He bounds toward me when he’s called. Every. Single. Time.

He doesn’t drag me down the street.

He’s not perfect, but he’s proof of concept.

If you struggle with your dog, I’m here to tell you that there is a different way and if you’re resistant because of what you’ve heard from your peers and so-called experts, stick with me for a bit and see what you think.